I think it's a habit. I go from one entry to the next, either bitching or raving about Gary. Hm. I think I started a pattern. And I always think that the world is over because he's done something that I didn't like. Well, I need to have a wake up call. I was talking to Ben today about guys and girls because he's got a girlfriend and he's all nervous about her or something, and I didn't realize how true the things that I was telling him were. I mean, there are always going to be some things that I don't like about Gary. But that's normal. There's things he doesn't like about me too but as long as I don't despise what he does, I think I'm good. I don't think I ever will either because I love him. I dunno. I know that there's no excuse alot of the time for his immature behavior, but I'm his girlfriend, not his mom. And he's gotta grow up sometime... and like everyone, he will eventually. He's not that far off anyway.

Anyways, I woke up really late today and went to work for 4 horrid hours. It sucked. But whatever. After work, I was supposed to be calling Jessica to plan my baby shower but she was out of area so I couldn't get through. That's when I just decided to ride the bus with Ben to work and then when I was on my way back, I ran into Jess and Joey. So instead of running back home, I ended up going to Fun Expedition, this new arcade place and playing putt-putt with them. Which was fun. I also ran into Austin. And we talked. Anyway, that place is awesome and I'm positive that it's going to put Fun Adventure and Chucky Cheese out of business because its got something for everyone and it's half the price almost.

After that, we roughly planned the babyshower and then I went home. I still have alot more planning to do but I don't have to worry too much because I've got a whole month until the babyshower. Also, I'm getting a crib. Almost brand new for like 125$ and it was 300$. So, I'm getting a pretty good deal.

God, I really didn't realize how boring my days are. I do the same old shit every day. Man, I'm boring.

Also, I talked to Amber. She's doing good but I miss hanging out because she's all the way in Blountville. I don't get to see her as much which pretty much sucks. Well, as soon as she's better, we're hanging out.

Oh. More news. Krikett wants me to move to Deleware with her and I'm procrastinating calling her because I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go and that I can't. I tried to explain the first time but I couldn't seem to get her to understand that I couldn't, even if I wanted to and I don't want to hurt her feelings because I do care. I just don't want to. I'm afraid that the next time we talk, that's all it's going to be about. I mean, I don't think it would be so bad if I wanted to go but I don't want to. So that makes it tougher. And she was so set on it, which is what makes it even tougher. Also, even though I lost her number, she's gonna be pissed that I haven't called her. Well this time I had a reason but I'm just really dreading this coming phone call. Wish me luck.

I talked to Mom and she's on her way to Washington State because that's where her training ends I think. I'm glad because she's been gone too long and I'm ready for her to come home. The kids all have to go to school and there are going to be alot of changes around.

I applied for section 8 and got approved. Which is cool because that'll help me out oodles.

And, for the most exciting news of the day: I'm officially 30 weeks! I'm so close now. 2 1/2 months and my little piece of heaven will be here. I'm excited but scared. My doctor's appointments are two weeks apart now and I have to start talking to them about my birth plan. I'm so nervous. But excited. It feels like everything is happening so fast compared to 7 months ago.

Whew. That should keep you busy for a few days. I'm tired and I still have stuff to do... but at least I get to sleep in tomorrow. YAY!

I'm out.

Okay okay... I'll update. Jesus Ben, calm down. hahaha. Well... at least it's nice to know that SOMEONE reads my xanga. *shrug* Not that it particularly matters because I don't supposed I'm writing for anyone but me but it is nice to recieve comments SOMEtime or another.

My mom is finally out of her training class. Actually, she's been out of it for a while now and is now driving her 10,000 miles or something of that sort. Then she says she's going to take a break for like a week or something and then get back out there on the road for a while. Hopefully she and Dad will be around when Nevaeh is born. I would hate to have to go through that with just my friends even though they rock.

Fairfield is starting to get old. I want a new job, but then I don't.

Krikett is on some end of the world where no one knows where she is or when she'll be back. Fun. Well, she can't get mad when she hasn't heard from me because I've tried and no one can get in touch with her.

Gary is being a dickhead. As usual I suppose. I guess I've gotten used to it now. I only look forward to his phone calls to see if he'll even call. Yeah, that's pretty pathetic. And what a wonderful time for this to happen. 7 months pregnant and emotional and now is the time he decides to pull this shit. Well, I've decided that I want to go to Georgia and pick up a fine ass working man who I can rely on and be happy with because the way I see it is, if Gary doesn't give a shit, then I'm going to try not to either and just move on. He can find another "baby's momma" if that's what he wants, who will just sit at home while he does what he wants, when he wants. Because I REFUSE to be that. I'll die first before I'm in that kind of relationship... or rather, I'll kill him first because damn it all to hell... I'm just fed up and through.

As you can see... the only thing I have to look forward to right now is that fact that I don't have much longer before I get to meet my beautiful angel and before my parents come home. And thank God for that because at least I have SOMETHING to brighten my day each morning.

I love you Nevaeh.

I know I haven't be online in a while but I've been tired a busy. Surprise! haha. Anyway, I have a WIC appointment tomorrow and I also hit the 25 week mark! YEAH! This pregnancy is going by at the right pace. I'm so excited though!

Gary, who has a tendancy to be an ass or a sweetheart, has bought me an outfit from Motherhood in the mall and not only does it fit me perfectly, with room to grow but it's also cute as hell! It was so sweet of him because I didn't ask him for it and I didn't say anything about him not getting anything for me. He just bought it! I feel so loved and special and also Friday, we get to hang out with each other and I get to spend the night with him. I'm excited because I get paid that day too so we can probably have good food and stuff!

Father's day is coming up. I'm getting Gary a pair of new shoes because he needs them and also wants a new pair, and I figure it's a nice gift to give a father-to-be. I have no idea what to get my dad though. I'll call him and then figure it out though!

I'm about to have a baby shower, really soon. Amber and I are planning it Saturday when we take Rachel out for a big sister day. Me and Amber are doing it. I'm excited because me and Amber went last Saturday for her birthday and we thought we could do it for Rachel too. It'll be nice.

Anyways. Gotta go.